Treason - one of the most frequent reasons that fall sometimes lasting relationship.Not everyone can endure the betrayal of a loved one, especially if he was really close.Is it possible to do such a simple, step over the insult and continue to build the relationship further?Let's try to understand this difficult problem together.
Was there cheating?
order to accuse of treason loved one, you need to be 100% sure that you have changed.You can blame totally guilty man.For example, a "well-wisher", masquerading as another, may be in color tell us about what he had seen in the company of your beloved is very impressive young man last night, they kissed, and then together somewhere left.This may well be a lie, because you can not know for certain human intentions, telling you this story?
Also, for example, you accidentally overheard fragment of your guy on the phone sounded and his speech is too soft for ordinary conversation.It could very well be talking to a younger sister or something like that.
Believe in life are sometimes very ironic or clever surprises, so make sure that cheating has occurred, or may commit follies on level ground.
In any case, a frank conversation face to face can not be avoided.Not to find out the details over the phone or in a social network - easily escape from the answer or to lie.You must all ask in person.At the same time, be as observant: pay attention to opinion, speech, gestures - even if the person begins to evade a direct answer, for him everything will be seen.
If you probably know that you have changed, in this situation need to behave appropriately, without dropping his dignity and end up taking the right decision.
I changed: how to be?
first reaction to the betrayal, especially when a very human love and trust him - it's a shock (if there was no cause for infidelity), then - the heartache, self-pity, a strong emotional vulnerability, self-fall, humiliation, sometimes despair.Emotions going wild, and in the heat, you can do a lot of what will later regret.The best that can be done right at the beginning - is to move away from a partner, generally does not come into contact with it, if you live together - to live with friends or relatives.Leave apostate alone with himself - let him think about his behavior.At this time you will need to survive the wave of negative emotions, which you overwhelmed.Do what you can alleviate your condition, let his feelings.The only thing - do not take revenge on mutual betrayal.
When poulyagut passion, you will be able to soberly assess the situation and decide whether to forgive a betrayal of a loved one.For this we need to understand the reason for his betrayal.Think about yourself, what did you do wrong?
Worse, of course, when you change (a) a husband or wife.For meditation we offer you some of the most popular reasons why spouses change each other.
- wife ceased to attract and satisfy sexually;
- desire of novelty;
- nature and behavior of his wife changed towards her husband for the worse;
- Hidden complex about the fact that "are the best youth", and he is only one woman;
- boring life, so that there is a desire to violate a ban, to try something "sharp little";
- Love, passion.
- husband ceased to attract and satisfy sexually;
- husband udelaet little time and attention;
- nature and behavior of the husband changed in relation to his wife for the worse;
- also boredom, the desire to somehow diversify his life;
- Love, passion.
Actually, very often the wife on the side of change, when they can get from a lover or a mistress, what is no longer married or initially was not.
After their thoughts go to the dialogue with the apostate / izmenschitsa.Do not let the climb to her with open arms, reacted calmly to attempts to restore relations to the previous level, if any.Now for you the main thing - to find out why there was a betrayal, and how serious it is.For this Get answers to the following questions:
- Who is this person that you have changed?What connects your favorite and the man?What are their relationships, how serious?
- Why do you prefer the other?What did you do wrong, you're worse than him?
- As now belongs to you is your favorite?What he wants more - to continue or terminate the relationship?
Once get answers to your questions, do not rush to conclusions.Take another timeout.At this time, think about everything you say and decide what to do next.What do you feel to the person?Do you love him still?You will survive treason and given a chance?Imagine that you are together again.What you?Of course, the experience will impose its mark, but try to ignore them.Weigh the situation from all sides and decide what you want.
If you decide to step over the betrayal and continue the relationship, they should not be the same.You must together find the cause and fix it treason.Also, let your partner win back your confidence - it will take time.If cheating again, think about whether or not the person you should do, if after all this still change?
If you do not like the man and searched for a reason for the breakup, it is better not to find.Not necessarily the person to talk about what they wanted him to leave, just say that you can not survive treason, and leave.
also often happens that the partner is constantly changing, but says that he loves.This is what happens in a situation with a naive and trusting girl and guy-womanizer, or vice versa.to change in such a case, to forgive?Definitely not: your love just enjoy.Leave this man to meet in the future more worthy.
Also, you can be useful this material:
- Can you forgive infidelity
- Should I forgive betrayal